|
Sarita (name changed for confidentiality) is a 15 years old girl living with her parents and three other siblings. She has an elder sister aged 17 years, an elder brother aged 16 years, & a younger brother aged 12 years. The age gap between the first three siblings is very less. Her father does begari work: laying of tiles. The family is Buddhist by religious beliefs.
The economic situation of the family is not good. The medical testing of Sarita has shown that she is very anemic, although she looks overweight. She has iron and calcium deficiency. She has an infrequent menstrual cycle: with periods coming after 3-4 months. When she takes the medicines: iron tablets for the periods, the periods come. These irregular periods are a big concern for her and her family.
Sarita has studied only till the V standard, but was not able to study further as she was partly weak in studies and also because she was old for her class. Other children and teachers would ridicule her because of her inability to study, being old for her class and her weight as well. She lost confidence & believed that she can’t study and do well. She says, given a chance I would love to study which I had always wanted to do, but am unable to. There are several others like her in the community who haven’t been able to study further for various reasons.
She further adds, “I cannot remember information easily”. She is reluctant to join courses such as sewing due to a fear that she will be unable to retain the information & will invite further ridicule.
Sarita continues, “Other than studies, I am confident in talking to people or with any other work”. She supports the UHP in their work by informing people for the polio program and the UARSH program. She also has an ability to convince the children and people about the program. She says that the UARSH work & polio work keeps her busy and involved and so she enjoys it to the utmost.
Sarita has attended both the workshop and the clinic under the UARSH program. And she feels that the information was very useful and it will help her in her life after marriage. Although, she has studied only till the V standard, the quality of the information given is such, that she has understood the information although may not easily remember all the information bits. This has been due to the use of the pictures in the flip charts which helped to understand the information clearly. She also feels confident in asking for information anytime, if needed.
She shared that she was at school when her periods first started and she was very scared and cried a lot during the time. She thought that she had got hurt: “bhiti vatat hoti khoob, radat hotey mee, Mala vatala ki mala lagley ahey ki kai. mag school madhey madam hoti ani tyaney napkin diley ani sangitley ghari jaa, aai la sang, tyaney kahi mahiti dili nahin”. When she approached the lady teacher, the latter gave her a napkin & told her to go home & tell her mother. She didn’t give any information. Hence, the UARSH program is a good program.
On the personal front, Sarita tells that she doesn’t like these relationships. Her family also doesn’t believe in pre marital relationships. Therefore, she says that she would prefer an arranged marriage. That will be more beneficial as her parents will choose better and select a proper person for her: “arranged madhey fayda ahey, aai vadil sahi ghardar pahun, changla manoos baghnaar… daru nahin peenara… changla”. But she adds, “there are girls here who don’t see it this way and continue to have relationships”.
Sarita says that once a boy had pushed her, but she abused him back and told him to lay off. “Tumko ma bahen nahin hai kya, aisa kyon kartey ho, koi ladki jati hai toh usko kyon chedtey ho. Aisa karogey toh main logon ko bula key police mein naam doongi”.
She said a whole crowd had collected there. After the incident, boys don’t really trouble her as they feel she can do anything, shout, yell: “tya nantar muley magey lagat nahin, ani tyana vatatey ki mee kahi hi karu shaktey, oradu shaktey”.
However, true to her age, Sarita says that sometimes when there is attraction also, it would help if there was someone to talk or get guidance from during that time. (she has not said it very openly that she is attracted to some boys.) She doesn’t talk much to boys, given the family value system. (This shows the need for generalized counseling for the adolescents, even apart from the sex education and need for decision making inputs and guidance for peer pressure. It calls for further programs on life skills in general, which would place the sex education in a context and also be received by the community better: Analysis)
Her mother is watchful about where she goes and whom she meets. This is because there are people who are drunk & misbehave here. People send their daughters accompanied by someone to the toilets and nearby if they have to go somewhere. The daughters are usually not allowed to go by themselves because of this fear. This is also the reason why girls drop out of school when they come of age.
Sarita too doesn’t go out much except to drop a relative’s son to school and to do the UHP work. “I don’t go out much…only these two places, the UHP and the school”. She feels very restrained and limited at home and when she goes out, both physically and mentally she feels much better. When she is at home all the time, she feels tired.
She wants to work as a house maid but being 15, her age is a constraint. Moreover, there is cost involved in going to work, as it needs commuting. She also feels scared in going so far for work as she doesn’t have contacts in the buildings in Thane area and it is too far away from home. This is also due to the restraint on going out in the community and family.
Sarita wants to learn new skills, so that when she gets married she won’t have to depend on her husband or in-laws, or in the extreme case of the marriage not working out. Even her mother supports her in the decision to learn something new. Her mother adds that there is no guarantee with marriage now - people marry and after 2-3 children are born, the husband leaves the wife. So it is very important for a girl to independently sustain oneself and her children if ever need be.
Girls like Sarita want to achieve much in life, but circumstances don’t allow to. Its time that these voices arising from the community expressing willingness to learn are given the chance to do so. In it lies a program’s true success. |
