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Nitish (name changed for confidentiality) is a 21 years old youth, based in Katkaripada, Navi Mumbai, who speaks out and tells the story the way it is. Nitish works at a nearby Siemens Co. from 8.00 to 5.30 pm tirelessly. He is also appearing for his matriculation. He couldn’t give the board exam earlier because of his elder sister’s marriage. In his family, there are his parents, his elder sister who is married with a daughter and a younger brother, 6 years his junior. Nitish is very concerned about his younger brother who takes a lot of gutka and has got involved with a “bad” group of friends. His fear for his brother comes from the experience of a friend who used to eat a lot of gutka and died because of this. He had recovered for a while but when he restarted eating gutka he couldn’t be revived again.
“Here sangat is very bad, my brother is bad too, and he doesn’t study. And he hasn’t come for the Workshop or the clinic organized by UHP, tila mulancha sangati madhey vaeet adat lagli ahey, toh gutka khato, cigarette peeto, mee kiti sangto, gharatley kiti sangtat, pan toh durlaksh karto. Mee marto pan, tari pan toh aikat nahin. Mitran barobar rahat asto, kamala jat nahin. Khub muley ithey gutka khatat, tyanchey vay 12-13 asel. Tey mothya mulana baghun khatat” - He has got bad habits in the company of friends, he eats gutka & smokes. I & my family members admonish him, but he pays no heed. I hit him also but still he doesn’t listen. Nitish adds, here boys aged 12-13 eat a lot of gutka; they see the older boys eating gutka and are influenced.
Most of the older boys here work as there is a Maharashtra Industrial Development Corporation (MIDC) area nearby, the other boys were at school and classes and there were some who were not interested. Due to this, the UARSH Program, at the Katkaripada Urban Health Post of the NMMC has seen a low response from the boys. In spite of this pattern, Nitish has found it personally important to attend both the Workshop and the Clinic. However, when he first came for the Workshop it was a harrowing experience for him & he had a very bad time. There were only 2-3 boys at the workshop and the rest were all girls. They were all giggling and laughing and it was very embarrassing both for them and for him. But, he withstood this discomfort and stayed right through the whole program whereas the other boys ran away after an hour. He felt that if the madam was giving this information, it was necessary & there was nothing wrong in it.
According to Nitish, he did not have so much information before attending the workshop, and learnt many things in detail. He says, “evadhi mahiti detail madhey nhavati”. In his opinion, the information is necessary because boys will change for the better and won’t go on the wrong path. “vait margavar janaar nahin”. Nitish says, that the information increased his knowledge and he has now become a confident young person. According to him, the information is particularly necessary for the adolescents, because they catch it faster after observing the older boys and the environment.
Nitish feels reinforced in his personal decision to focus on career and work right now after attending the workshops and clinic. This is so because the message emphasized in the UARSH is that there should be a focus on studies and work and important life tasks at this age and serious relationships could come later. He felt that boys look at the girls and relationships with wrong approach and emotions, and there will be a check on this, “vait…veglya bhavana ney baghtat… tyachyavar niyantran yete”. According to him, this is more necessary for the boys: “mulan sathi jaast hava ahey, mulin sathi pan… pan mulan sathi jaast. tey mulina baghtat, tyana vichar yetat, tey doghey phirtat ani sambandh hotat” - They look at girls, then they think about them, they move around together and then sexual relations happen.
Nitish confides that he had nightfall but he spoke to the counselor about it. He said that he felt no hesitation to speak because his manner of speaking is open and upfront. He was very concerned & troubled about it during the interaction with the counselor because he felt that though he is not into any relationship and is focused on his career only, why is he having a problem of nightfall? Sometimes it happened twice in a night. He has also started losing weight because of this and was concerned about it during the interaction as well. For these concerns, the scientific explanation for nightfall was reinforced, in line with the information he had received at the UHP, and he was guided to approach the clinic where the counselor and doctor would clarify his doubts. The youth’s concern was also brought up with the MO of the UHP.
Nitish also shared that there were three girls here who are attracted to him & they are after him: “magey lagli ahet”. He continues by saying that one girl wanted to be friends with him (in the sense of a relationship) and he also got attracted to her but then his friends warned she has been involved with others as well, so he didn’t pursue her: “mitraney sangitley ki tichi doosran barobar dosti ahey, mag mi javal nahin gelo”.
Nitish feels personally that these feelings of attraction lead to emotions and thoughts: “akarshan asto, mag asey bhavana astat, ani vichar yetat”. Thoughtfully he adds, it should not be such that if a girl says yes or calls us, then we will go. And if she says no, then we must not go. We should have the ability to show restraint & should not pay attention: “durlaksh dyayla paijey”. That quality should be there in us: “swata madhey tey asley paijey”.
“I don’t think of girls… of all this… I don’t keep sexual contact… I am thinking of my career… and my work is there… Also, I am afraid of having a friendship with a bad girl”, Nitish concludes.
Suggestions from Nitish on the UARSH program:
If there were males teaching the boys and females teaching the girls, there would be more free discussion. It was a bad experience for him to be in a more or less all girls workshop.
He also felt that youth groups could be a good way to approach wherein the boys along with male counselors get a good space to discuss issues. Given the low response in the community, Nitish feels that street theatre will be an effective medium to reach out to more adolescents: natak kele paijey. He liked the street theatre which had come in the community sometime back.
Summary:
Nitish has a long term future focus and has his plans clearly laid out. He is already working but still wants to complete his matriculation. He wants to improve his life through educating himself and he takes self initiative to do so. He is able to see the connection between education and a better life. He also has the perspective to see the harmful effects of addiction and is able to make the connection between his experiences: his friend’s death and the impact of addiction. This is particularly commendable because he is living in the same environment and has friends who are addicted but is able to rise above it and doesn’t get pulled or sucked into the same situation for himself. He is able to make independent choices, irrespective of his surrounding situation.
This same perspective is brought by him while talking about relationships which he is not into right now because of personal career goals. He also selects his friends and doesn’t want to get caught in the wrong relationships.
The empowerment which Nitish has garnered has come, whatever minor portion it may be, from attending the workshops. Nitish has positive aspects such as working, studying hard and being against bad habits like addiction which makes him a perfect natural role model. He juggles between work & studies, but still loves to attend the workshops. He would be well supported by a youth counseling program and also has the independent thinking and perspective to become a peer counselor or group leader. Nitish is one amongst the many future young hopes who needs to be nurtured and shepherded in their youths, so that they grow up empowered.
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